The day starts with an argument, as you and your spouse argue about who forgot to put the kids on the school bus or who should take care of the dog’s medical checkup. As the day goes on, your arguments become more frequent and more intense, until one day—you realize you can’t take it anymore and you file for divorce because of all the fighting. There are 5 things that you should never bring up during an argument with your spouse in order to avoid this from happening to your marriage or relationship.
Number One: Past fights
One thing you should never bring up during a fight with your spouse is past fights. It’s important to be able to move on from arguments and to let the past stay in the past. Bringing up something that happened five years ago will only make your spouse more frustrated and things will likely escalate quickly. Focus on the current issue at hand instead of trying to dredge up old hurts, it’s just not worth it!
Number Two: Money
Money-Money is always a touchy subject and it can lead to arguments. One way to avoid this is by setting aside savings in a joint account and funneling expenses into individual accounts. This way, you can each see how much money you are spending on your own lifestyle without having to ask the other person what they’ve spent or vice versa. A third party could be called in if you need help resolving an issue related to money with your spouse. If you still have disagreements about something minor then there are ways of resolving these issues that do not involve airing dirty laundry during a fight with your spouse!
Number Three: Other people
It’s so tempting to bring up all of the things your spouse does wrong when you’re angry. But, it’s not just about what they do, it’s about how they make you feel. So, try not to make them feel bad for being themselves or for making mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has quirks. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Don’t compare your spouse to anyone else either; they are an individual with their own quirks and issues.
Number Four: The Weather
Many people use the weather as a way to casually start conversations with strangers. However, it’s important to know that weather is not an appropriate topic for marital arguments. Arguments can be heated and intense, but if you are discussing the weather, you are forgetting one of the most important parts of your relationship: communication. If you’re going to discuss how sunny or cloudy it is outside, try to find something else to talk about.
Number Five: What Happened This Morning
You may be tempted to point out the flaws in your spouse’s morning routine, but remember that what you saw this morning does not reflect on your spouse as a person. Bringing it up during an argument is only going to create additional tension and resentment. Let sleeping dogs lie! Bringing up something from this morning can result in some ugly conflict about who spilled milk or did or did not take out the trash. Stay away from mentioning trivial things like these when you are already feeling angry with each other – there will be plenty of time to mention them later when you are calm.